


Adventures of Borky and Stebe

by mythicalbi



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, I APOLOGIZE, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-22 09:29:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8281027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythicalbi/pseuds/mythicalbi
Summary: Advetures of borky and stebe who are totally not gay! they have fun and nothing bad happens and can Som learn to fly? find out in tonight's episode...





	1. Chapter 1

Borky and Stebe were friends and nOTHING MORE OKAY?! They were hella platonic and just friends. They went on a lot of adventures together.  
Like, this one time they went on a train ride and it was super fun up until the time Borky fell off the train and died a horrible and painful death.   
OR DID HE?!  
It was a cold winter’s day before the warm summer’s day where our adventure takes place. Stebe was minding his own business, talking with Som and Natosha about things like murder and war. They were having a good time when suddenly! A wild Borky appeared! Stebe didn’t recognize him tho because he had a different haircut and wore more make up than he did before. So Stebe decided to fight it.   
Stebe jumped on the intruder while Som grew wings and started to learn how to fly, Natosha watched on as the lil birb struggled. She laughed.   
Borky was attacking Stebe bc BETREYAL! Stebe rolled on the ground like a supermodel and kicked him in the face with the skill of a ninja.   
“AAAAAAAAARRRHHHHGGHHHH!” Said Borky.  
“HOOOOYAAAAAAAHHH!” Replied Stebe.   
Natosha got bored and stunned them both. They fell like a dead fish falls on the ground. With a splat.  
She removed Borky’s makeup and Stebe’s eyes jumped out of his skull.   
“Borky!” He yelled.  
“Fak you, Stebe.”  
“Borky…”   
“Both of you shut up and look up.”  
They did and there in the sky, birb Som was flying in beaotufil, magnificent circles. They all looked on with wonder in their eyeballs, Natosha stood proudly like a proud parent that’s proud of their child.   
But their adventure wasn’t over yet! An evil hydra dude jumped out from behind the bush.  
“Sooldier! Kill them!”  
Borky jumped to action, he kicked Stebe in the face and punched Natosha in the stomach. She slapped him in the throat.   
“Borky!” Yelled Stebe, “It’s me, Stebe! You know me!”  
“No, I don’t!” Yelled Borky.  
“WHat?!” Stebe was confuse, “What do you mean?” He sang.   
“The Steb I kno, wouldn’t have attacked me.”  
“Borky! I didn’t know it was you! I’m sorry! I love you #nohomo!”   
Borky stopped. His eye sockets filled with unshed tears as he stared at Stebe.  
“I love you too #nohomo.” He whispered.   
They hugged. The evil hydra dude started pulling out his hair in frustration. He was about to attack everyone himself but then, Som swooped in and pooped on his head. Everyone laughed at the evil hydra dude.   
They went home.

(❍ᴥ❍ʋ)

One day Stebe and Borky were watching the television and Stebe went to make some popcorn. Borky sat on the couch and waited. When Stebe came back he set the bowl on the coffee table and Borky sneezed at it.   
“borky!” Said Stebe, cross.  
“Bork bork,” Replied Borky.  
“Bad borky.”  
“Suck my bork Stebe.”  
They laughed and went back to watching the television. 

(❍ᴥ❍ʋ)

When Som decided to visit Stebe he noticed Borky was there and Som was cross bc he wanted to spend time with only Stebe and not Borky!   
“No.” He said when Borky said hello. Borky cried.  
“Som! How could you!” Stebe also cried.   
Som went back come.  
He came back the next day and asked Stebe to hang.   
“Sure!” Said Stebe when Som asked him to hang. “I’ll get Borky!”  
“No Borky! I don’t like borky!” Som yelled!  
“Why don’t you like borky?!” Asked Stebe.  
“ his face is stooped” said Som.  
“it is not!” Said Stebe. He pointed at Borky’s face which was beautiful. Borky smiled an angelic smile and romantic music began to play in the background.  
“Yes it is.” Said Som. The music abruptly stopped.   
“Som, borky is my boyfr-my friend. You need to like him if you like me.” Said Stebe, totally confidently.  
“ugh fine.” Said Som.  
They went out and had a lot of fun. Nothing bad happened to them and Borky and Som ecame friend.  
Da and.


	2. more adventures of Borky and Stebe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Borky and Stebe are back with more adventures! Join them as they face a new enemy, another friend of Stebie boy that doesnt like borky!! NOOOOOO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .....¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Just when you thought things were going well it turns out they weren’t! in fact, they were going very NOT well!

So we left of with stebe and borky just doin their thing; living life, kicking ass, and definitely not doing anything even remotely gay bc they are Heterostraight thank you very much. And then BAM! Shit happens.

It was a day like any other, birds were chirping, fish were blubing, crabs were crabbing and men were making life harder for other people by enforcing their toxic masculinity.

Our Borky boy was just out in the town, buying some plums and minding his own damn business when all the shenanigans decided to start.

“Teny just signed some papers!” Shouted Stebe. Borky was Confusion™.

“wot”

“My friend, Teny! Wel…… my EX-FRIEND! He is no longer my frined!” Steve was screaming.

“Why” Borkky was still very Confusion™.

Stebee exploded with a high-pitched screech like some sort of a dying bird. From within him emerged Som, like a beautiful majestic angel. He perched on Borky’s shoulder.

“Teny sighed papers that Stebe is not happy with.” Som said.

“Why.” CONFUSION™

“They are. Bad papers.”

Borky took a deep fucking breath. Before he could speak, Stebe glued himself together and dusted off his clothes.

“The papers, they are the WORST! Teny agreed that all people with enhanced super powers are to be kept in check bc they’re a ‘’’’’’danger’’’’’ to humanity and are ‘’’’’uncontrolable’’’’!!” Stebe sobbed as he yelled.

Borky was Confu-

“AND! They say that u suck and are stoopid and I cannot be ur friend and only teny can be my friend bc he is cooler.”

Borky was enRAGED!!!!11!!!

“I will kill Teny!” He screamed. Stebe joined his battle scream. Som did not but Borky didn’t care. Not at all in the slightest.

(◕△◕✿)

That night they Plotted. Stebe and Borky sat on the windowsill and planned their plans while Som sat on the chair like a loser nerd.

“Maybe we could talk to Teny and communicate our problems in a healthy manner which could help us resolve the issues quickly and to everyone’s satisfaction?” Som suggested.

Borky snorted.

“No.” Said Stebe. “We will fight him.”

Som flew away and flipped them the bird.

Stebe and Borky went to sleep and out of convenience only they decided to sleep in the same bed bc what if teny attacks??? They need to be ready. It makes sense. They platonically cuddled like good ol’ buddies do.

When the morning came the sun rose as did Stebe’s determination to explode the whole earth. He ate some breakfast with his friend Borky who was just a good friend and then they were off to the nearest airport bc everyone knows that where you gotta fight your buddies. Or ex-buddies.

Som was also there with his majestic wings and ready to fly over some people. And also another person there was…. Natosha! What is she doing here!?

“Natosha! What are you doing here?!” Stebe asked.

“Stebe. I love you but you need to fucking chill.”

“You LOVE him???!” Borky activated his murder mode and went in for the kill. He and Natosha fought while Stebe watched on, clutching his chest.

Then, out of the shadows appeared Teny!

“Teny! You bastard!”

“why can’t we be friends,” sang Teny.

“You hate borky! Everyone who hates borky has to answer to THESE!” Stebe flexed and his muscles jumped out at Teny and hit him in the face.

“It is war!” Teny declared and lazer beamed the shit out of Stebe.

I watched on from the far away, the shadows hiding me under their cloak. No one saw me.

Borky hit Natosha’s leg.

“Bad Borky!” she yelled, a water bottle magically appeared from the sky and she threw it at Borky.

He hissed. Then he saw Stebe and Teny fighing and was that blood coming from Stebe??? Yep. Teny was dead, RIP bitch.

“Rest in fucking pieces, you shitting fuck!” Borky stated as he jumped on Teny and bit into his head. He tasted metal, it was the metal covering Teny’s head. “this is disgusting.”

“How dare you, my dad made that!”

“I FUCKED your dad!” Stebe punched Teny, both metaphorically with the impact of his words but also with his Fist!

“You what??!!!” Teny and Borky both said at the same time. They looked at each other and just like that the mutual hatred they felt for one another was gone as they could finally find something to agree on. Something like: Stebe is a moron.

“It meant nothing to me Borky I swear! You were dead! And also you are my platonic friend so not that u care.”

Borky thought about it, he silently manpaied over it.

“I’m going to Romania for a holiday. Alone.”

He turned and left. Stebe cried.

Som tried to comfort him with his majestic wings but it did not work. Natosha gave him a pat on the head but it did not work. Teny gave him a flip phone, it did not work. Stebe was…. Heartbroken.

Would he ever recover from this? FInd out next episode coming probably never.


End file.
